This week I have been dabbling in the realm of young adult and today reading some of it back to my daughter I’m not so sure about it. First off my concept has changed since I started writing it again this week. I had two chapters from a few months ago and I threw out the first. Because it was boring. It was about the heroine, Bree, interacting with her friends at school and planning for their summers. A summer that she won’t get because her Granda is ill and her family is off to Ireland.
So now it starts on the plane ride. I left it that way because I want to establish that going in she has a good relationship with her parents. In the second chapter she stumbles across a fairy ring in a copse of trees and meets two pixies. While I was writing it I found it witty but re-reading it there is something missing. It is going to need some re-writing. Again I think that is because the concept shifted.
Bree is a seventeen year old girl who has always “known” things something that she’s kept hidden from her parents. She has born with an affinity for all living things, ladybugs and butterflies are drawn to her and she can’t bring herself to kill spiders. She was born in Ireland but raised in the US. When Bree finds herself in the land of her birth she discovers that she is of the Tuatha de danaan and that she alone can bring balance to an Earth that is in danger of destroying itself. Of course she’s not completely alone, she enlists the help of two funny pixies, Shaylee (her Fae sister)and Shaylee’s friend, Rhoslyn. And then there is Torren O’Keefe the handsome neighbor who has the voice of an angel. Bree is drawn to Torren in a very basic way. For Torren, Bree couldn’t be any further off limits, as a half blood it is not his place to get involved with a Fae princess. He will do what it takes to protect her while resisting the urge to kiss her. Unable to offer her what he knows she wants of him, Torren offers her the best part of himself, his music.
Okay, so when I originally thought of this it was so Brenna would have something to read. Because at the most they will kiss, maybe and I’m thinking not. So being almost nine she would read that and go, eeew gross and move on. But when I made Bree seventeen I realized that her needs and Brenna’s needs (for mom to write a book she can read) are not going to coincide. For one, my original neighbor was a fun, cute in a red headed Irish sort of way “boy” who might have a crush on Bree but she wouldn’t return the feelings. I knew that she would have to have a love interest but I figured he would come in later when they were in the thick of battle and she wouldn’t know if he was truly on her side or not.
So I don’t know what happened but instead of a red headed “boy” I wrote of a dark haired half breed man who could sing. I was surprised but I went with it. Here’s an excerpt.
The singing stopped but she received no greeting in return. Strange. Easing herself off Amulet she started around the corner and ran right into a wall of solid muscle.
“Hmmph” Strong hands grasped her arms steadying her. No, he hadn’t quite knocked the wind out of her, yet. The reins fell from her hand as she looked up into the clearest blue eyes she’d ever seen on a man. They were striking in a face framed black hair. Bree forgot to breathe. Amulet moved away dragging the reins behind him. It was enough to startle Bree aware.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I called out, it must have been you who was singing.”
“Heard that did you? What were you thinking about it then?”
The man wanted to know if she thought he could sing. Okay. Well at least she could answer honestly without insulting him.
“I thought you were good.”
“Did you now?” The way he was watching her made her feel warm all over. She wanted to squirm away from his grasp and at the same time she wanted to move closer. Never in her life had she been so effected by a man. Of course she’d never been this close to a man this attractive before either. Boys, yes, but he was no boy.
I’m not sure where this is going but after a few re-writes I may ride it out… hehe horse farm humor here.